How To Make An O…

If you’re like me, you’re a big fan of college football. And if that’s the case then you’ll have heard my favorite team is headed to the National Championship game, or Natty round these parts. That’s right the Ducks from the University of Oregon are headed to the Natty to take on the Tigers from Auburn.

As I stood in my seat at Reeser stadium, watching the Ducks wrap up a perfect 12-0 season, it dawned on me that some Duck fans are indeed letting the team down. I’m not entirely sure they know exactly what they’re doing wrong, but my friends it annoys me to no end when it happens. I am talking of course about, The Vagina Hand.

Let me explain for the non Duck fans out there. See one of the University of Oregon’s many logos is the ‘O.’ it’s one of the more popular logos the school uses and you may have even seen Reese Witherspoon sporting an ‘O’ hat while she galavanted around Hollywood the other day. This logo has transformed into a hand symbol that many of the fans of Oregon deploy to show their allegiances.

However, many fans arent exactly doing it correctly, which is resulting in The Hand Vagina. If you are unaware of what exactly the hand vagina is here is a picture …

I Give You The Hand Vag...

As one can clearly see this isn’t exactly an ‘O.’ what it is, is a derogatory hand gesture usually given to some who’s being a pussy. To be honest, this was a usual hand gesture that was thrown about left and right in my house in college, and usually whilst playing some sort of college football on the Playstation.

While this may be a little derogatory and crass, other people in this world have made millions off The Hand Vagina. First, I believe Jay Z instituted the ‘Roc-A-Fella’ hand gesture which is just a little different from The Hand Vagina…

Jay Z. Kanye. Roc-A-Fella. (Hand Vag)

I haven’t seen Jay utilize the Roc lately. Maybe that’s because his hand are so heavy from trying to carry all that money he makes. Or maybe he’s too busy grabbing Beyonce’s ass… I mean, I would.

Another person that capitalized on a Hand Vagina variation was a wrestler by the name of Diamond Dallas Page. Back in the day I used to be a huge wrestling fan. In fact one spring break my college roommate and I took a trip to Houston to go to Wrestlemania. And to bs honest it was a baddass trip. Of course I was pretty hammered for 99% of the trip which may or may not have lead to an eyebrow piercing, but that’s niether here nor there.

Where was I…. Oh right Diamond Dallas Page. DDP (as he was known by his close friends) had a move called the Diamond Cutter, which of course was his “finishing move.” right before the maneuver was to be executed, DDP would throw up his hand and make the hand vagina The Diamond symbol, and boom! Lays out his opponent with the Diamond Cutter. Finishing the match and walking out of the ring victorious.

DDP and The Diamond Cutter (Hand Vag)

Now that I think about it, pretty sure DDP tried suing Jay for use of his hand symbol.

You may be asking what’s this got to do with Oregon? Well friends a lot. Too many times have i seen it happen people just getting lazy with their ‘Os’. They figure hey it kinda looms like an O, it’s above my head, all my friends are doing it. But people, it’s not ok. It just isn’t. You’re not a rap mogul. You’re also not a wrestler (even if you’re wearing and green and yellow Lucha libre mask)

Now, you may bs saying, “hey my favorite Duck throws up his hands in the Hand Vagina way! I’m going to do the same.”

Yes young fan he is. He is also given this kick ass Nike gloves from Uncle Phil too.

Gloved 'O'

Your favorite Duck player has no choice.. Those gloves make the O for him. So, again unless you’re Jay Z, DDP, or an actually player sporting the Nike Zoom gloves, you should be making the proper O.

Here is a quick lesson on the proper O.

Take your right hand and actually make a C.

RIght half...

Take your left and and make a C.

Left Half

Bring your left hand and right hand together, bam! The Perfect O.

Perfect O

(actually the perfect O is completely elusive and unknown to men)
(come on, you didn’t think I’d go the whole blog talking about hand vaginas and Os without at least ONE innuendo)

Remeber everyone, you don’t see Texas fans throwing up the horns with a pinky bent.

Longhorns...

Or you don’t see Red Raider fans throwing up guns without the thumb up.

Guns Up.

It just doesn’t happen. So fellow Duck fans, I urge you to perfect your Os, to hold them high, and represent the Ducks as they look to roll the Tigers in the Natty.

Oh, and one last thing….

Puddles. He'll see you in Glendale.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Go Ducks!

Email me at
SarcasmAsAWeapon@gmail.com