Pick 6

About a year ago I posted a bulletin on myspace. Basically what I was to do is put my iPod/iTunes on shuffle and see what came out. Then write a little synopsis of why I have this song and why I like it.

So upon seeing my friend JDub have the same thing posted on her blog, I figured I’d revisit it because truth be told. It’s a lot of fun.

I really hope you enjoy.

Title-Artist

Open Road Song-Eve 6
Back in the day I was a bit of an alterna-teen. I like the alternative movement. I think some great music came out of that time. I also love movies. So upon entering the theater and hearing this little ditty be the opening for Can’t Hardly Wait, it was like a match made in heaven. The movie was good too. As is this song! Whatever happened to Eve 6?

Such Great Heights-The Postal Service
I’m not going to lie. I’m a poser. I only like this song because its on the UPS commercials. I still really like it. But do I own thier CD? No. Would I pay to see them? No. Would I like them 10 times more if they were on the OC? Probably. All besides the point. Fun song.

Hey There Delilah-Plain White T’s
I’m not going to lie. I love this song. I have since I heard it before it was released. (That was a luxury of mine working at the radio station. Had stacks and stacks of CD’s I had to wade through to pick out new music to play on the station.) This was one of those songs. In fact I can still remember the meeting I had with the record rep when he said you’re going to love this. And I did. At the time the words had a lot of meaning. Not so much anymore. It’s just a good song.

Freshman-The Verve Pipe
I’ve always loved this song. A lot. Reminds me of high school. I had heard that this song was about some girl who died at a college party. But I may be wrong. I can still remember them playing this song acoustic on the Jenny McCarthy show. wow.

The World Has Turned And Left Me Here-Weezer
This album, is probably one of my top 5 albums of all time. I’m serious. I don’t know what it is, but I love Weezer. Maybe it has something to do with finding them in high school, or there infectious guitar riffs, whatever it is I’m hooked. Essentially it’s just a break up song. No more no less. I still like Weezer, but nothing will ever compare to this album. Makes me smile.

My Posses On Broadway-Sir Mix A Lot
For those kids outside the West Coast Sir Mix A Lot had a couple albums and songs outside of Baby Got Back. People forget that. This song is AWESOME. I love the lyrics and the beat. Plus it talks about some pretty famous places in Seattle. One of which is a place to eat called Dicks. Just a heads up people, if you get drunk in Seattle and ask your cabbie to take you to a Taco Bell, more than likely he shall respond…. No Taco Bell. Only Dicks. And you will find yourself at one of Seattle’s most famous late night stops. POSSE UP!

So there you have it folks, the first edition of the Pick 6. I figured I’d call it that cause it’s a gambling term, and well I do have a small addiction to gambling. just saying. Hope you enjoyed…

Tag

I’ve got a couple of friends that have blogs, and in checking up with them I was “tagged.” Meaning they filled out this little questionnaire and tagged me at the end and letting me know they’d like me to fill it out.

So, while on my friend JDubs blog www.ifjuliefell.wordpress.com I found myself “tagged” at the bottom. Make sure you click her page as well.

Without further ado….

4 Jobs I’ve Held:
1. Music Director at a Radio Station.
2. Promotions/Marketing Assistant.
3. High School Soccer Coach.
4. Best Buy Sales Associate.

4 Movies I’ve Watched Over and Over Again:
1. Swingers
2. Friday
3. Karate Kid
4. Star Wars/Indiana Jones

4 Places I’ve Been:
1. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. Boston, Mass.
3. Seattle, Wa
4. San Diego, Ca

4 Places I’ve Lived:
1. Portland, Oregon
2. Londonderry, New Hampshire
3. South Jordan, Utah
4. Pocatello, Idaho

4 TV Shows I Watch:
1. Chuck
2. Heroes
3. SportsCenter
4. Rock of Love

4 Radio Shows I Listen To:
1. After
2. Getting
3. Laid Off
4. None

4 Things I Look Forward To:
1. New Movies
2. March Madness
3. Red Sox Baseball
4. Free Pizza.

4 Favorite Foods:
1. Burritos
2. Pizza/Crazy Bread
3. Chinese Food
4. Macaroni and Cheese Spirals

4 Places I’d Rather Be:
1. Las, Vegas
2. Fenway Park
3. Old Trafford
4. a booze cruise.

4 People I email regularly:
1. The Boss Man
2. JDub
3. Stampy
4. CLO

4 People to Tag:
1. CLO
2. The SS News Anchor
3. Alicia
4. The Rest of my Sarcasians.

I’m A F’ing Pageant Queen.

So some of you may know….. wait. Actually non of you know cause I’ve never brought it up here.

Well then, a little bit of an backstory is necessary. You see I think one of the reasons I started blogging is because I was (still am) out of my mind bored. I was laid off from my dream job back in October.

I used to work in radio as a Music Director for an adult format station. And no, not that type of adult station. You know the type that plays Elton John, Billy Joel, and mixes in some new shit from Kelly Clarkson or Daughtry. You know, the station your mom used to listen to in the car, and the one you hear while you’re getting your teeth sanded down! Now I’m not saying this was my format of choice, but I worked my ass off and earned my way to one of a radio stations top spots.

And to be honest with you it was fun! It was the best job i’ve ever had. Quite frankly now that I think about it, that’s not really saying that much. Considering I’ve worked at a big box electronics store I shall call the “Buy More.” And I’ve worked at an indoor playground by the name of SuperPlay. Both of witch jobs if I were to still be doing, I may have chosen to slit my wrists and die.

That is all besides the point though. The point is I was laid off. 

Now being laid off has its advantages. I can play World of Warcraft all day long with only lunch/dinner and bathroom breaks to interrupt me. I can stay up till all hours of the night watching Cheaters/Elimidate/RonCo on television. I can also go to Vegas and not care about being sober enough to return to work the next day. With all these pluses comes the downside.

I don’t make any money (other than unemployment) and I have to look for a job. Now I don’t know about you but I can’t stand looking for a job. I wish the job would somehow show up on my doorstep like the baby Moses. But unfortunately that’s not the plan.

So as it happened I came across a promising job that I felt I would really enjoy. It was with a small advertising agency that I though I would do well at. I was put through the process of two interviews, in which I thought I did smashing.

I have to say, that some time in my past I actually dated pageant queen. She was Ms. Small Ass County that entitled her a trip to compete in State. If she were to win at State, it was on to Miss America, WHOO HOO *fist pump*!! Now if you’re a dude and you’re reading this, you have hopefully given me a successful internet blog high five, just for the simple fact that a dude you pseudo know bagged a pageant queen. (ps as a sidebar they’re TOTALLY not supposed to do that.) Anyway, when you’re dating a pageant queen they expect to win. They do all sorts of crazy shit for six months in attempts to win. Diet, exercise, take pills, throw up, practice their talent, practice their platform and who knows what else. Most of the time in expense of spending time with reality.

After all this is said and done a pageant queen comes away winning or losing. There really is no middle ground. When they win, all is right with the world. When they lose. EVERYTHING is wrong. Their dress was the wrong color, vaseline didn’t make me smile enough, Susie had bigger breasts, my speech wasn’t good enough, I did an 7 counts instead of 8 in my dance, the judge thought I was a whore, my platform sucked… all of these and MILLIONS more a pageant queen thinks about when they lose.

And then…. it hit me. I’m a fucking pageant queen. For the last 24 hours I’ve been sitting at home questioning what the hell happened??? I thought they liked me. Was my tie crooked, was one of the girls threatened by my stunning good looks, did I answer a question wrong, should I have shaved for the second interview, was my hair wrong (it wasn’t) did I wear the right shoes, should I have lost a few more pounds??

I’ve been at a loss all day. I thought I nailed the interview. I thought I nailed the talent portion.

At the end of the judging process, it’s not the one with the most charisma, talent, and poise, it’s the one who fucks the judges.

Bitch.

Bitches Wittier Than I.

This whole blogoshpere world is new to me.

I mean I came from MySpace where little 12 year olds and people I’d known and talked shit about in high school read my blogs.

Now I’m a little more grown up and writing to the masses of people who constantly look for approval. Or just want to get something off their chest.

I can understand.

I’ve got millions of stories that I think could fill the pages of a blog.The key I suppose is how to relate to people.

You see, I pretty much hate people. I think a lot of people are stupid. I think America is creating an entire legion of stupid people. Hence why I use a lot of Sarcasm. Stupid people don’t get it. They think I’m being serious.

Like for example. In the airport on my way out of Vegas, my friends and I were all in the security line. Seperated by the retractable nylon rope, a young kid who had apparently just accomplished something shouted….. “I DID IT!”

to which I replied (albiet drunk/hungover/sleepily/sarcastically) “Yeah ya did.”

Now, people with above intellegence would have caught on to my subtle congratulatory way of rewarding this young spawn of stupid in a job well done! He haddone it. Although the it, is still in question.

Well Spawn of Stupids mother, Stupid, was none to please with my subtle congratulations to a job well done. She replied snidely “Yeah YOU did.” and shot me a menacing look.

I felt a strain on our relationship.

But this is just another example of how my sarcasm is left unrewarded. How I feel isolated in a world where because of the failing educational system in america people will slowly never know what it’s like to appreciate sarcasm.
Here are the top 5 reasons why people will never harness the power of sarcasm.
1.)Text messages. You can’t pick up on Sarcasm in text messages. Unless it’s from me, then 99% of mine are laced with it.

2.)IM Chats. My friends and have a special color for sarcasm. Kids these days are too lazy to do that.

3.) Email. You can’t say to your boss “you’re a dick” in an email without him thinking you’re serious.

4.) School. I don’t think the schools teach English anymore. Literally.

5.) Reality TV. Prime example is when Elodie congratulated the backstabbing Heidi (who just jacked her job) And Heidi was thankful. It was pure gold. Bitch thought she was serious in congratulating her. That my friends is sarcasm at its finest.

Anyway… I know this has gone on long enough. And it may even be a bit non-senseical (which I’m not sure is even a word) but I give credit where credit is due. People who use sarcasm should always be rewarded.

So here are some people (through the world of blogs) I have found to be sarcastic, and for the most part… wittier than I am. I some respects I feel like Anakin Skywalker as a boy and not realizing my potential. These people/blogs are Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

enjoy!
The Letter D: Best of D
The Superficial -Because You’re Ugly
Everything is Wrong With Me 

Ben Affleck is Going To Be Pissed….

I’ve been slacking on my posting as of late. I happened to have been in Las Vegas for the last couple of days, so my writing took a gigantic back seat to drinking and attempting to pick up hookers.

And by pick up I mean shouting out the dollar amount I was willing to pay for their services.

“Dollar seventy five!!!!”

Once I shouted two fifty to which one of my lady friends in attendance shook her head awkwardly and disgusted said,

“you’d give that girl two hundred and fifty dollars to have sex with her?”

to which I replied….

“Fuck no, I meant two dollars and fifty cents! I may be desperate to have sex, but that doesn’t mean I”m not looking for a bargain!”

Anyway, if you were in Vegas and got shouted at by some dude with a dollar amount, be happy if you cracked $4.99. Only the select few did.

Which brings me to my point about neglecting my writing. While I was in The Vegas for only a short time, it was damn near a coma inducing trip. Late nights, tons of booze and the aforementioned hookers. Oh, and I did have some of the best friends in the world accompanying me along the way.

After returning home at 10 am, I was only awake for roughly 3 hours. I awoke in time to catch most of the oscars. If you’ve read my previous posts, I love movies. And I love watching which movies get rewarded for being great. Even when I disagree.

I totally think Ellen Page should have won. I mean come on…. She’s cute, smart, witty, sarcastic, rich, “indie,” and my current crush. So I’ll totally kick your ass if you don’t agree!!!!

None of the aforementioned reasons have anything to do with the fact that she was really good in that Juno movie. Oh, and Tilda Swinton scares me.

Speaking of boyfriends kicking ass did any of you catch this little gem??

Thats right, Busey wanted to get a little Alias action! And did Jennifer Garner actually ask for Ben Affleck?? Like WTF was Ben Affleck going to do?

Seriously?

Kick Busey’s ass? No effing way in hell does Affleck have a chance against Busey. I mean, maybe if it was a competition comparing careers Affleck might have the advantage (Phantoms was the shit!) But in terms of a physical altercation, Crazy Busey would just straight up mop the floor with Pretty Boy Ben.

I actually think Jennifer Garner has a better chance at whopping Busey’s ass than Ben does. The only scenario I see Ben Affleck coming out on top (innuendo intentional) is if it was the last day of high school in 1976 and O’Bannion and his friends are out and about paddling pre-frosh with paddles and Busey happens to be one of those pre-frosh, then, and ONLY then, does Aflleck win.

ps this hilarious video also confirms my suspicion that Affleck would get his ass kicked….

I may have started crying whilst watching that video. Any video that contains Harrison Ford, Huey Lewis, Brad Pitt, and Don Cheadle is comedy gold.
Plus it had Cameron Diaz making inappropriate hand gestures.

Classy Cameron Diaz. Classy.

Sin City

Dear Las Vegas,

I think we should break up.  

xoxo
me.

Man Good. Woman Bad.

I can’t say I’m surprised really.

Everyone knows women are the weaker sex, and shouldn’t be anywhere teaching young boys things.

I mean, who’s crazy idea was it to let women enter the workforce in the first place?? Not mine. Who wants an employee that is emotional for 5 days out of the month EVERY month. Or who wants an employee with a smaller brain. Or who wants an employee that makes rash emotional decisions? Who wants an employee who can’t operate the company car?
Not Me!

So I applaud you St. Mary’s! You took a step in the right direction! Way to take a stand in regards to the inferior gender!

Next thing you know women will be getting the right to vote.

sidebar: In closing. I find it hilarious that St. Mary’s believes that women should have no authority over men. Obviously not one of their leaders is married.

If Loving Movies is Wrong, I Don’t Want To Be Right….

So for those of you who don’t know me, I can tell you, I pretty much LOVE movies. Even the headline of this blog is taken from a movie. Coming to America. That’s right Eddie Murphy said these words…. “If Loving the Lord is Wrong… I Don’t Wanna Be Right!” I may have substituted some words…. whatev.

They’re pretty much one of my most favorite things in the world. If you want to get in good with me just start talking movies. I believe that most of life’s problems can be solved by watching a movie.

I can tell you though, I’m not a fan of scary, gory, torture, hack you with an effing chainsaw (sans Scarface) movies. I just don’t see a lot of point to them. Plus they apparently scare the women of our country. Cuase as everyone knows, not one of these movies prey’s on the stupidity of men. Just hot women who make the WORST choices ever. Oh and the ones that live by themselves. So I’m not a fan of “Horror.”

Other than that, I love me some movies. I can talk movies for hours with my friends. New ones, old ones, black and white, color, action, drama, you name it. I’m a big fan. 

Lately I’ve been checking out new movies left and right. I love watching trailers and getting excited for movies. If you hit me up on IM ever, at some point, I’ll be watching a movie trailer. For some people this is annoying.  

I like to be informed. Some people love to be the one who knows all the new music, or the one who knows all the new TV shows, or the one who knows all about the history of the middle east or knows ALL the new whatever…. I just to be the one who knows about new movies coming out. Call it a curse, call it annoying, call it an attempt to be trendy, call it whatever the hell you want, I get excited what can I say.

And speaking of new movies, the first one that I’m excited for is Smart People. Starring Dennis Quaid, Sarah Jessica Parker, Thomas Hayden Church, and Ellen Page.
I may or may not have a little crush on Ellen Page. I can’t explain it. I think it’s pretty much her sarcasm and wit. I wish I could have guest writers on this blog, and Ellen Page would be one of them. I’d let her write some sarcastic blog about pregnancy, or adoption, or maybe track stars. I dunno I just feel as if me and her would totally get along and be like the best of friends. We could exchange witty remarks about people, and ultimately just be awesome.
*sigh.*

The other movie that I’m probably most excited for is Indiana Jones!

I LOVE Indiana Jones. Like A Lot!

I may or may not have actually attempted to be Indiana Jones.

Next to Star Wars, Indiana was next on my most influential movies of all time. I actually took an Archeology class in college HOPING it was going to be like Indiana Jones. It in fact was not, and well that was the end of my archeological profession.

However, this new movie breathes new life into a character that is obviously getting older. I am hoping that Harrison Ford passes on the torch to one of my new favorite actors, Shia Lebouf. I can see Shia taking the Jones name very far! Seriously I can’t wait.

Lastly, a movie I’m excited to see cause I think all of us have been close to this situation, is Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Oh, right did I mention its from the guys who brought you Superbad and the 40 Year Old Virgin??? No? Well I meant to.

Plus I love Jason Segel (40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and the TV Show How I Met Your Mother) and Jonah Hill ( Superbad and Knocked Up.)

But the people I love most are Kristen Bell and Mila Kunis! I freaking love Kristen Bell. Since she’s been Veronica Mars all these years, then solidifying herself in geekdom by appearing in Heroes. Yowzers!

Oh, and Mila Kunis is hot too, but I think her crazy level is WAAAAAAY up there. I mean she dates Macauly Caulkin, and that is effing wierd. Like really wierd. That dude is messed up now.

Of course I can’t say I’d be normal if I was disgustingly rich by the time I was 9, and my parents didn’t love me. I’d totally be effed up. Like totally.

effed up. But still rich. and dating Mila Kunis. but still efffed up.

So there you go… just a little rundown of Movies I can’t wait to see.

Fallen Hero

Some years ago a little television channel actually played music videos. They called themselves MTV.

Music Television.

It was glorious. I can remember the days of waiting for the top 1o so I could call in and vote for my favorite video.   At the time, I think the current champ was Def Leppard with Pour Some Sugar on Me. Loved that song and loved that video. I think it was #1 so long it would have gotten the boot on TRL. If TRL had existed.

Def Leppard had won my heart, as did another 80’s hair band. Poison. (Actually a lot of hair bands dominated my life. But I’m trying not to scare anyone away.) I loved Poison. They were awesome. They ARE awesome. Bret Michaels was the definition of cool.

The long hair, the suggestive lyrics, the scantily clad women in his videos. It was everything a pre-pubescent male could ever ask for. Had I actually been old enough to pick up on sexual innuendo, Poison would have solidified themselves and coolest thing about being 9 years old. (The Nintendo Entertainment System grabbed a hold of that top spot for various reasons.)

Flash forward to 2007. One of the greatest reality shows to hit the airwaves! Rock of Love. If you’ve haven’t seen it, you should. It’s a train-wreck of a show with one of my pre-pubescent heros Bret Michaels. He’s basically trying to find love. Or a hot little thing to sleep with for awhile.

Which I believe came to fruition when he nailed first season winner Jes.
Who I actually picked to win last year. (p.s. the reason I picked her to win, was not because she was the most compatible with Bret, but because she was the hottest. And sometimes folks, hotness trumps compatibility. Take that Eharmony!)

So anyway, much was my excitement when I was told of a Rock of Love Season 2. [Now airing on VH1 on Sundays.] I’ll be the first to admit I haven’t followed as closely as I did season 1. But I have Tivo’ed most of the episodes. So much to my excitement I set some time aside today to catch up on my missed episodes of Rock of Love Season 2.

I can’t tell you how disappointed I am in my Hero Bret Michaels. I thought for sure, this season of Rock of Love would bring even hotter women. Skankier women. Women who just wanted to be on a reality show. Women with lose morals, and a low tolerence for drinking. Well to my dismay, the show actually brought along ALL those types of women.

Except hot. And I’m being serious. Like not hot at all.
Heres our girl Catherine….

While not exactly the ugliest of the group, I’m pretty sure she’s got grandkids somewhere. I’m putting 10 bucks on the fact, that she may have been my friends mom, that was enabling us to call MTV to vote for our favorite video. And I must admit, I do like the feathered hair, WITH bangs. I believe it’s something only a Glamour Shots Professional can achieve.

Heres one of my favorites… Daisy.

Now, some may find our little Daisy to be attractive. And by attractive I mean slutty. I can’t help it, I only call it as I see it. I’m sure she’s an extremely nice girl to all she meets, but people, come on. If you’ve been watching the show and you’ve seen the episode where Daisy puts on a lingerie fashion show for our hero Bret, then you’ll know exactly why Daisy is still around. Reminds me much of that dating show, ElimiDATE. If you were a smart dude, you’d keep the slut around till the final elimination, then see what she’d do (slut wise), the eliminate her, and take home the nice girl. Hate to say it Daisy, but you’re pretty much on ElimiDATE.

Next of course is Peyton. Who by all accounts should also be my friends mom, smoking a cigarette, drinking bourbon on the rocks while her boyfriend “Don” fixes his T-Bird.

Wait a second?!?!? Is it just me… or is Peyton actually Richie Sambora??

Quick!! Someone find out if they’ve ever seen Peyton or Richie Sambora at the same place at the same time!!!!

This my friends is where I lose my faith in Bret Michaels. You see last year, Bret’s Roadie John did the picking of all the women who were allowed to be in the house. So I can actually fault Big John for messing up a good thing. Find hot women. How hard could that be. Well Big John did us fans a huge disfavor by not selecting that many hot girls. But I will give him credit. He picked more than Bret did. In fact, as I’ve previously stated, Bret let me down. Bret picked this girl to stay… the lovely Albine…

I just….
I dont know. I’m at a loss for words. I know when people get drunk their decision making goes all to hell. But Bret?!?!? How drunk where you? The selection show MUST have come after a three day bender! PLEASE TELL ME IT CAME AFTER A 3 DAY BENDER!!! Please restore some faith I once had in you.
If Bret was indeed drunk then I’ll give Bret some credit….

After weeding out all the lost causes at the Rock of Love mansion, I did however settle on a winner. I picked her once again cause she is hot. And as we learned earlier hotness, trumps compatibility sometimes.

In this case, I think it’s more of this scenario….

OK I have to choose for THESE girls??? Damn. Ummm Alright… You.. Yeah You! You’re not the hottest girl I’ve ever seen, but you’re hotter than you’re surroundings. You win. Now get some whiskey.

In all fairness, she may be the hottest, but then again, I also think she’s a germ-a-phobe, retraining ordering, playboy posing, crazy. Like “that bitch is crazy,” crazy.

Then again…. the hot ones always are.

Addict

By all accounts I shouldn’t be an addict.

I grew up with a great family. Loving parents who are still together. And still Love each other. Great home life with a large family and huge amounts of support. I was an athlete in high school and in college. My life was constantly filled with 3 hour daily practices, running, and working out.

Things have since changed.

I’m trying to look back in my life and figure out how and when I became and addict. I know because of recent events in my life things have gotten worse. I lost my job, I’m not playing sports, and while my family is supportive…I actually blame them.

You see I believe this all started with my dad.

Go figure another person with daddy issues. I learned it from him. Watching him, admiring him, almost worshiping him. Who’s really all the surprised that I’m an addict now. The more I think about it the more I realize he’s the one who’s infected this whole family. I mean it was my little brother who introduced it to me. Who got it from dad. I can’t believe I didn’t see this coming.

I had realized that things were in the depth of despair the other day when to my shock, I saw my little sister of 14 years of age…… she was in. She’s now addicted. And it’s all my dads fault.

I’ve gotta find someway to stop. Maybe there is someone I can call. Maybe there is someplace I can go. I just really need help. There has got to be some sort of cure out there.

Someway of reversing this need… this desire…….

……to play World of Warcraft. 

Yeah that’s right. I’m totally addicted to WoW.

And it really did start with my dad. He’s a geek. Like a HUGE geek. He wasn’t popular. He wasn’t an athlete. He wasn’t a ladies man.What he was, was a Dungeons and Dragons playing, Lord of the Rings Reading, trumpet playing geek.

And it’s rubbed off on me and the rest of my siblings. Some of us hide it a lot more than the others. Like me. If you knew who I was and met me, the last thing you’d ever expect me to fill my day with would be World of Warcraft, but thanks in part to some recessive genes, BAM…. I fill my day with a fantasy realm where I go around kicking ass. 

I can’t say I’m really ashamed. Cause I’m not. There are 10 million participants of World of Warcraft. That’s almost as many people as a popular religion of the world. South Park did a HILARIOUS parody. Hell even Mr. T, William Shatner, and Mini Me all play World of Warcraft.

•  Verne Troyer
• Mr T.
  
• William Shatner
  

I guess what I’m really trying to say, is that on the outside, I’m just your regular average pretty boy, who loves sports, is popular, was never in the band, but deep down. I’m not only a geek. I’m an addict.   

Thanks Dad.